Shannon's Halloween

I would like to announce that I got through Halloween weekend with only ONE walk of shame! And it wasn't even a bad one. I went out on Wednesday (I went hard: 4 nights in a row!!) to Turtle's Heaven and Hell party with the freshman girls from my floor (they are so cute and I lovvve them!) I just wore a white skirt, floaty white skirt, and white sandals. So no full-fledged costume, thank goodness.

Then I saw Lacrosse Guy that I hooked up with three weeks ago. Actually I should say that he saw me and started talking to me and I completely didn't recognize him. Last time he was clean shaven and wearing a bright green polo; this time he was wearing a black hoodie and had grown facial hair. He looked mad sketchy and I told him that. I probably wouldn't have talked to him if I hadn't remembered from last time that he was super-hot and the sex was good. We danced for awhile then he said he had to leave to walk back with his friend who was visiting, but that he'd come back and get me. Which was fine.


But then I got worried he wasn't coming back so I started to text him:

Me: Are you coming back?
Him: Yes
Me: For def?
Him: For def.
Me: Are you sure?
Him: Yes. I'll be back in 10 minutes
Me: No! 5 minutes!

Andd he did indeed come back. He said that he didn't have any condoms and I reassured him that it was no problem because I would just go to 7-11 and steal us some. So we went to 7-11 where I spent 10 minutes wandering around trying to figure out where the condoms were so I could steal them. Meanwhile, he was buying condoms, which unbeknownst to me happened to be located behind the cash register. Apparently they're a hot item to shoplift.

We walked back to his house again and I told him about how I heard he was a man whore, but that I'm okay with it. And then...there was a playground!! So obviously I had to stop and play on it. I ran around and played on the monkey bars and slid down the slide and made him catch me. I bet he felt like he was fucking a 7 year old.

But...the sex was awesome, as before. (I love repeats!!) Except he kept trying to do anal. For serious, I do not do that and never will. Okay MAYBE on my wedding night. But probably not. I don't really get why guys like it. Okay well I do, but I don't get why girls like it, or why people on TFLN seem to do it so often. After about 3 rounds of "let me just try to stick it in without saying anything and maybe she won't notice" (hel-loo, girls always notice) I finally had to explain to him that if he put it in my butt I would flip and started crying and then he would have to deal with me crying and once I start crying it can last for HOURS and he would probably have to listen to monologues on Guys That Are Mean To Me and Why I Miss The Guy I Lost My Virginity To and I look gross when I cry and require a lot of comforting and hair-petting. Like a kitty.

Needless to say, we didn't do anal.

Sleeping was comfortable and we woke up and had morning sex but after that it was awkward. He went to sleep with his back completely to me and that was so uncomfortable. Now I get that most guys want their alone space after sex, but when two people are sharing a single bed some level of spooning is necessary to make it work. I just wanted to be like, "okay, I know this is your bed and you probably want me out so you can sleep in peace, and if it was my bed I'd have most likely just kicked your ass out because I am a hypocrite, but I need some sleep too and you brought me back so now you have to deal with it and will you PLEASE stop stealing the blanket?"

Finally when I was awake enough to function I shoved him and asked if I could get a ride back. He didn't have a car but he went downstairs to see if anyone else did. He came back and said that only one of his friends had a car but he had to drive to community college (wtf?) so he didn't have time to drive me back. Fuck. Then one of his friends came in, looked at me, pumped his arms and went "YES!!" That BETTER have been in a complimentary way.

Fortunately, this time I was savvy about my walk of shame. I borrowed a t-shirt (red this time so I wasn't monochromatic) and cleverly tucked it into my skirt so I wasn't swimming in it. Plus I had a hairbrush with me this time, and I was wearing flats so I didn't have to go barefoot. As a result, only ONE car honked at me on Route 1, and I'm pretty sure the driver was a girl. Win!


In conclusion, Halloween Night 1 was a rousing success because I got to have sex without my number going up!! (And let me tell you, it is shooting up at an alarming rate.) Three nights to go!!